12 Step Workshop - Fast Track To Sobriety
Intro to Steps 8 and 9:
Congratulations for getting this far! We are almost at the top of the mountain where we will be able to experience the magnificent view.
We just need to climb a little further, but for many, this is where people find it too difficult and throw in the towel. Step 9 requires HUMILITY, HONESTY, COURAGE (and most importantly) ACTION.
There is a reason why step 9 is left until the very end. That's because the previous steps were needed in order to prepare us for this the difficulty of this step. We needed to learn how to LET GO and see where WE were at fault. We needed to learn how to pray for WILLINGNESS.
Remember this is a 'SIMPLE BUT NOT EASY' program, but the rewards are indescribable!
True FREEDOM comes at a price and that price is 'DESTRUCTION OF SELF-CENTEREDNESS'
Step 9 is the ultimate test in whether we are willing to practice destruction of self-centeredness though making amends to ALL people we have harmed.
So those of you that still want to live HAPPY, JOYOUS and FREE, will have a list of all people you have harmed and start making those amends.
Remember, 'EXCEPT WHEN TO DO SO WOULD HARM THEM OR OTHERS'
IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT ... AND YOU'RE WORTH IT!
Step 8
"We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."
Step 9
"We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."
P.76/paragraph 3: “Now we need more action, without which we find that "Faith without works is dead." Let's look at Steps Eight and Nine. We have a list of all persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends. We made it when we took inventory (in step 4).”
Notice how it says “We have a list … we made it when we took inventory”
Hopefully we didn't burn our 4th step inventory sheet!
“We subjected ourselves to a drastic self-appraisal. Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past. We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves. If we haven't the will to do this, we ask until it comes. Remember it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over acting-out .”
P.77/3rd line: “Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us.”
Here the authors are telling us what our real purpose in life is. Not our purpose in this program but our purpose in LIFE.
“But our man (whom we have harmed) is sure to be impressed with a sincere desire to set right the wrong.”
Q: Do we desire to right our wrongs with others?
“The question of how to approach the man we hated will arise. It may be he has done us more harm than we have done him and, though we may have acquired a better attitude toward him, we are still not too keen about admitting our faults. Nevertheless, with a person we dislike, we take the bit in our teeth. It is harder to go to an enemy than to a friend, but we find it much more beneficial to us. We go to him in a helpful and forgiving spirit, confessing our former ill feeling and expressing our regret.”
“Under no condition do we criticize such a person or argue. Simply we tell him that we will never get over our addiction until we have done our utmost to straighten out the past. We are there to sweep off our side of the street, realizing that nothing worthwhile can be accomplished until we do so, never trying to tell him what he should do. His faults are not discussed. We stick to our own. If our manner is calm, frank, and open, we will be gratified with the result.”
We’re not there to talk about them. If we think that making an amends means we can also talk about what they did wrong then we are not taking step 9.
If we are expecting the person to pat us on the back or praise us for what we are doing then we may be in for a surprise. Expectations breed resentment.
P.79/7 lines down: “Reminding ourselves that we have decided to go to any lengths to find a spiritual experience, we ask that we be given strength and direction to do the right thing, no matter what the personal consequences may be. We may lose our position or reputation or face jail, but we are willing. We have to be. We must not shrink at anything.”
Step 9 is hard. We need to remember why we are doing what we are doing because it’s not easy to face our past. it’s not easy to say sorry and say we were wrong. But we must because we are willing to go to any lengths to gain true freedom.
“Usually, however, other people are involved. Therefore, we are not to be the hasty and foolish martyr who would needlessly sacrifice others to save himself from the addicts pit.”
This is why going through this with a sponsor is so important. We have no right to harm others in order to gain our own freedom.
There are many creative ways to make an amends without directly involving others.
P.80/paragraph 1: “Before taking drastic action which might implicate other people we secure their consent. If we have obtained permission, have consulted with others, asked God to help and the drastic step is indicated we must not shrink.”
Q: Will making this amends affect our family?
Q: Will paying someone we owe money to affect our ability to pay the rent?
Sometimes it’s a good idea to ask our wife/husband before paying a large sum of money back.
If a crime has been committed, we have no right to implicate others.
“He saw that he had to place the outcome in God's hands or he would soon start acting-out again, and all would be lost anyhow.”
This is Step 3. Remember we are not in control of the outcomes, we are only responsible for taking the necessary actions.
P.83/paragraph 2: “The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.”
We are not merely doing th0D
Q: How do we know if we are in fit spiritual condition?
A: We know that we are in fit spiritual condition when we experience these promises in our lives!
Checklist:
1) Are we getting into fights/arguments with people?
2) Do we feel in a position of neutrality - safe and protected?
3) Do we feel the problem has been removed?
4) Do we feel unafraid?
5) Do we feel Humble?
WARNING:
“It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for acting-out is a subtle foe. We are not cured of addiction. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. "How can I best serve Thee - Thy will (not mine) be done." These are thoughts which must go with us constantly.”
People have often asked how long this lasts. The book says we have a DAILY reprieve as long as we maintain our spiritual condition.
“We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.”
Some people may struggle with the idea of "letting go and letting G-d" because they may feel that this would make them into a robot. The authors are saying here that we CAN exercise our willpower, as long as it’s to serve G-d. “Your Will, not mine be done."