12 Step Workshop - Fast Track To Sobriety
STEP 3
P.59: “We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of G-d as we understood Him.”
Now we come to what can be considered one of the most hopeful paragraphs in the book...
P.58/top of page: “Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program”
Notice there is no ‘s’ at the end of ‘path’. There is only one simple path.
The word ‘thoroughly’, according to Webster's dictionary, means to ‘complete’.
So if we want to experience what the authors are experiencing when they talk about NEW POWER, NEW DIRECTION, NEW PEACE, NEW HAPPINESS, NEW FREEDOM, SAFE AND PROTECTED, NO LONGER FIGHTING ANYTHING OR ANYONE … then we have to be willing to do what the authors are doing. And if we’re not willing to do that, if we don’t work thoroughly through this program then we cannot expect our lives to change for the better. ‘Working half measures avail us nothing’.
So if we want what they have, we have to be willing to do what they are suggesting we do.
WARNING: “Those who do not recover are people who do not completely give themselves to this simple program.”
It’s very clear why some people cannot stay sober.
Why are we not happy, joyous and free? Because we have not completely given ourselves to this program!
Q: Are we willing to ask G-D to take it away for good?
The experience of others who have worked these steps properly is that the compulsion to act-out has been removed.
And as a result of working the steps, G-D makes a deal with us. He says “I’ll tell you what, I will GUARANTEE that you never have to act out again and will never have to live the way you have been living, and all I ask is that you take this message of hope and pass it on to others."
We can come into this program with the desperation of a drowning man. Some of us can not stop acting-out. We cannot stop ourselves, and we are effecting everyone around us.
So it seems to be a pretty good deal!
We do not ever have to act-out again and we do not ever have to live the way we have been living.
P.58/3/4 down: “If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps”
Let’s turn this into questions…
Q: Have we made a decision that we want what they have?
Q: Are we willing to go to ANY length to get it? Not some length, not most length, but ANY length?
We need to be willing to go to any length to work these steps properly.
P.59/2nd line: “But there is One who has all power, that One is God. May you find Him now!”
Notice how it says ALL the Power, not some, not most, but ALL.
Q: If G-d has all the Power, how much power does that leave for us?
NONE, we don’t have any of the Power.
We are foot soldiers, that’s what we are.
P.60/half way down: “Our description of the addict, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were addicts and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved us from our acting-out .
(c) That God could and would, if He were sought.”
Let’s turn those into questions …
Q: Do we believe we’re addicts?
Q: Do we believe we cannot manage our own lives?
Q: Do we believe that no human power can relieve our addiction?
Q: Do we believe that G-d could and would if we seek Him out?
“Being convinced, we were at Step Three, which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understood Him. Just what do we mean by that, and just what do we do?”
“The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good. Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful. In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But, as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits.
What usually happens? The show doesn't come off very well. He begins to think life doesn't treat him right. He decides to exert himself more. He becomes, on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be. Still the play does not suit him. Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame. He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying. What is his basic trouble? Is he not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind? Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well? Is it not evident to all the rest of the players that these are the things he wants? And do not his actions make each of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of the show? Is he not, even in his best moments, a producer of confusion rather than harmony?
Our actor is self-centered - egocentric, as people like to call it nowadays. He is like the retired business man who lolls in the Florida sunshine in the winter complaining of the sad state of the nation; the minister who sighs over the sins of the twentieth century; politicians and reformers who are sure all would be Utopia if the rest of the world would only behave; the outlaw safe cracker who thinks society has wronged him; and the addict who has lost all and is locked up. Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity?
Selfishness - self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the addict is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we addicts must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power.”
These are our REAL issues.
Q: Does this paragraph sum up our life?
Q: Are we willing to consider that selfishness and self-centeredness is the root of all our troubles?
Q: Are we willing to consider that our troubles are basically of our own making?
So next time we call someone to whine about something, just cut to the chase and say, “Hi, I want to whine about me” instead of complaining about everyone else.
The authors say that we are driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, etc.
Q: If we’re driven by self-delusion then how will we know if we’re self-deluded or not?!
We can think that we know the answers to everything. We were always thinking that we could figure it all out on our own.
Self-delusion means we don’t know what’s best for ourselves. So we get a sponsor and we join a fellowship and we work the steps and we surrender to G-d and ask Him to guide us.
The Big Book explains our solution:
P.62/last paragraph: “We had to have God's help. This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom. When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. We were reborn.”
Wow, just look at the promises we are guaranteed if we just hand over our life to G-d completely …
- Less interested in ourselves
- More interested in others
- New Power
- Peace of mind
- Face life successfully
- Conscious of His presence
- Lose fear of today and tomorrow
- We will be reborn
G-d pays His workers really well!
Do we know what it means to be reborn? It means we have to die. The person we were had to die.
Let’s take a look at step 3 again …
P.59: “Made a decision to to turn our will and our lives over to the care of G-d as we understood Him”
Look at the 2 words "WILL" and "LIFE".
Do we know what a ‘Will’ is? It gives people instructions on what to do.
So if we’re going to give our will over to the care of G-d, that means we’re going to ask for instructions. If we’re turning our lives over to G-d, then we’re going to do things only according to what He have me do and be.
In fact, we are going to find out in step 12 what our REAL purpose is in this program.
The REAL work is not doing the first 11 steps. The real work is step 12!
The first 11 steps prepare me to do the real work.
So now, if we are willing to take step 3, then say the following prayer after thinking about and deciding to turn our will and life over to G-d:
“God, I offer myself to You - to build with me and to do with me as You Will. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Your Will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Your Power, Your Love, and Your Way of life. May I do Your Will always!"
Congratulations!
Let’s now move on to step 4