12 Step Workshop - Fast Track To Sobriety
STEP 1
"We admitted we were powerless over [the addiction], and that our lives had become unmanageable."
In The Doctors Opinion, Dr Silkworth discusses the physical craving for alcohol, which happens when the alcoholic lets the "first sip" of alcohol in. With all addictions, the craving for only occurs if we begin acting-out, even a little bit.
We addicts have an abnormal reaction to our addictive behavior, whatever it may be.
p.xxvii “We believe, and so suggested a few years ago, that the action of alcohol on these chronic alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy; that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker”.
Let us take statements in the Book and turn them into questions:
Q: Do I have an allergy / abnormal reaction to my addictive behaviors?
Some examples that I do might be:
- Do I engage in any destructive behaviors to self-medicate (make myself feel good)?
- Do I often become depressed or resentful at people in my life?
- Do I suffer from low self esteem or often feel worthless and incapable?
- Am I prone to conflict in my social interactions?
- Do I sense resentment in my wife, children or colleagues?
There are 3 phenomenon that are often the precursor to acting-out.
R.I.D - Restless, Irritable and Discontented.
The Big Book states:
P.xxviii “They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes through [acting out]. After they have succumbed … again, as so many do, … they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to act out again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery. “
‘Psychic’ means MIND. There needs to be an entire change in the way we think.
Q: Do I have the power to do that?
If I was capable of doing that then why would I need this program?
If I could just change my thinking I would have done it a long time ago!
Q: Are you willing to consider that unless you experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope for recovery?
“One feels that something more than human power is needed to produce the essential psychic change”
Q: Can your sponsor produce that psychic change for you? Can your wife? Children? Money?
Q: Are you willing to believe that nothing human can make this happen?
P.11/ paragraph 4
“Had this power originated in him? Obviously it had not. There had been no more power in him than there was in me at the minute; and this was none at all.”
This is the very essence of step 1. The Authors spend 43 pages teaching us step 1!
This program is not about acting-out. Step 1 is not about acting out.
If step 1 was about acting-out it would just say QUIT! or STOP!!
We have come to realize that we will act-out no matter what. Why? Because we have no Power.
If we had the power we wouldn't need this program.
We thought we just needed more information. We wanted to learn little techniques. We thought that more information will keep us from acting out.
But ALL the information is worthless because we have NO POWER.
So if we have no power, how manageable is our life going to be? Probably pretty UNMANAGEABLE!
P.20/ Last Paragraph
“Moderate drinkers have little trouble in giving up liquor entirely if they have good reason for it. They can take it or leave it alone. Then we have a certain type of hard drinker. He may have the habit badly enough to gradually impair him physically and mentally. It may cause him to die a few years before his time… But what about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink.”
Q: With enough pain can we give up acting out?
Q: Do we really need this program?
There are people who had - and have - more trouble in life than we do, yet they may not be addicts because they don’t need to act in unhealthy manners if they CHOOSE not to.
It’s not about how much we act out, but whether we can choose to stop.
P.23/ paragraph 1
“Therefore, the main problem of the addict centers in his mind, rather than in his body.”
So the authors are telling us that acting out is not our problem. Our THINKING is our problem.
Our mind has caused us more pain than anything else. It has caused us so much suffering.
And it’s not about what happens to us, but rather our mind’s interpretation of what is happening!
P.24/paragraph 1
“The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.”
Q: Have you lost power to choose?
Remembering the pain and suffering will NOT keep a real addict from acting out!
Why? Because NOTHING will keep an addict from acting out of his own will. He will act out no matter what.
Unless we are constantly working with newcomers we will act out, even if we have been clean for a long time. Why? because “the memory of the suffering of even a week or a month” ago is not sufficient to stop us, so imagine trying to remember the pain of 20 years ago?!
P.34/paragraph 2
“… the question is how to stop altogether. We are assuming, of course, that the reader desires to stop. Whether such a person can quit upon a nonspiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will act-out or not.”
Q: Can we stop on a nonspiritual basis?
If you want to know if you have taken the first step just ask yourself the question …
Q: Could you choose not to act out today?
P.25/paragraph 3
“If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution. We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help.”
There is no middle road solution!
Q: Are you willing to accept spiritual help?
UNMANAGEABILITY
P.52/paragraph 2
“We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people.”
Let’s turn this into questions:
Q: Are you having trouble with personal relationships?
Q: Can you control your feelings?
Q: Are you subject to misery and depression?
Q: Can you make a living? (this has little to do with making money)
Q: Do you sometimes feel useless?
Q: Are you full of fear?
Q: Are you unhappy?
Step 1 tells us that as addicts, we have no power and we need a new manager.
P.39/line 5: “But the actual or potential addict, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop acting-out on the basis of self-knowledge.”
Q: Can we stop acting out on the basis of self-knowledge?
Often we thought that all we needed was more information.
P.30/paragraph 2: “We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were addicts. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.”
Notice that the authors are not saying we have to fully concede to our sponsors or the group. We must concede to our innermost selves.
It is suggested to go home and sit with ourselves and our soul and ask ourselves this question.
Q: Are we willing to concede to our innermost selves that we have no power and that we need a new manager?
If we are saying ‘yes’ then we are saying:
1) No sufficient reason is enough to keep me from acting-out.
2) I lose all control once I start acting-out.
3) I have lost all power to choose whether I will act-out or not.
As long as we cling to the idea that we have some knowledge, some power, some information or some memory that’s going to keep us from acting-out, there is no room for step 2.