What's the Use? I'm Anyway Powerless!

Question:

I've read the first step and admitted powerlessness. But I am finding that this is dangerous for me. Once I start falling I just give up and say, "well anyway I'm powerless"!

Answer:

This is a common misunderstanding in what the word "powerlessness" means.

Powerlessness (in step 1 of the 12-Step program) implies a combination of two things.

1) Once I start, I can't stop. No matter how much I know it will kill me, I will keep going.

2) I must stop. It is poison for me. It will kill me.

Recognition of these two things FORCES us to come to rely on our Higher Power completely because we have no way out. We are stuck between a rock and a hard place. And when our Higher Power sees that we honestly realize that without Him we are finished, He makes miracles for us.

The mistake in your question stems from assuming "Powerlessness" to be only #1, leaving out the vital ingredient of #2.

When we are faced with a test and say "I'm powerlessness" we mean to say, "If I start, I will not be able to stop. And it will kill me."

It is analogous to a drunk getting into his car and muttering to himself, "I know I am drunk. Once I start driving on the highway, I won't be able to stop. And I will likely get killed - or kill others".

Powerless makes us realize we CANNOT AFFORD TO ACT OUT. We can't afford to get into the car of our drug. We are drunk and we will soon be driving down a road to hell!

Once we have the recognition of powerlessness that incorporates both of these aspects, we force ourselves to make the right boundaries. We learn how to do our best to avoid the first drink, and we learn how to give over our will to our Higher Power to save us from this "death".