Giving up the Actual Desire

Banishing a thought that you do not want is very possible and very doable. However, banishing a thought that you do want is impossible. It is a contradiction in terms. It means focusing on the thought that you want to continue to think about, trying to stop thinking about it, and at the same time doing your very best to hold on to it.

The 3rd Step requires much more than a technique or strategy. It demands a decision that we should have already made when we took the First Step.

The first of the 12-Steps states: "We admitted we were powerless over our addiction- and that our lives had become unmanageable". At that point, a person makes a very strong decision. Not a decision to stop acting out- because he's tried that countless times and it didn't work - but simply a decision that he does not want to act out anymore. HE SIMPLY CANNOT CONTINUE.

Once a person admits powerlessness and has a very clear recognition that he cannot continue and does not want to continue, he will find it much easier (in step 3) to give up - not just his "acting out" - but the very desire itself to G-d, along with his right to act out and all expectations of ever receiving that desire.

But if a person never experienced Step One fully and he continues to hold on to his desire to addiction, he will find Step-Three almost impossible.